💔

No matter how rude or insensitive someone is to me, when I promise myself that I will always have their back, I won't go back on my words. Even if they go back on theirs. I'm not them, and I will always have their back. I'll keep praying that Allah will one day open up their heart and at least feel the love and appreciate all the things we have done for them, and all the support from day 1. 

May Allah always protect them from harm. Allahumma Ameen. 💔 

*Ya Allah, grant me the patience to go through your tests and grant me the strength to endure the obstacles that comes with it. Ameen*

GRANT ME PATIENCE.

Ya Allah.

My heart must be as black as charcoal. Why can I not stop myself from doing the things I've been telling myself to? I have the greatest intention to stop. To change. To be the better person, a better muslimah, a better daughter. Tests and trials comes in different forms, but why did I allow unreasonable customers (plus I was having a bad day, so it was extremely a bad combination) to get on my nerves?

I said I was a different person from who I was last year. But not yet whom I want to be.

Am I? Am I even trying some of the time? Most of the time? Ya Allah. My heart aches, every single time I do things (consciously) which I intended to stop to please you, my Lord. 

I beg your forgiveness for I have sinned, and I have hurt/upset/disappoint so many people around me. 

Ya Allah, do give me the courage too to forgive the people who have caused the great amount of hurt/harm to me as much as I want You to forgive me for all my sins! Allahumma Ameen!

M.

BLAST.

Today, 13th June 2014, Friday.

Finally feel the blast of the aircon in the LRT, Ma Shaa Allah. Alhamdulillah Tabarak'Allah. Feels like I don't wanna get out of the train hehe.

What a way to start my Friday morning making my way to work. Alhamdulillah! 

INDESCRIBABLE FATE.

ALHAMDULILLAH.

Allah is testing me.

Alhamdulillah.

To difficult customers, I thank you.

RESULTS.

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu.

Another one of those days where results aren't any close to good.

However, no matter how much I whined to my closed ones that I'm extremely heartbroken by this, I choose to believe that Allah loves me and that he is punishing me for all my sins through this. And I believe that good things will come at the end of this.

For now, I have about a month to sort out a back up plan and decide what and how I want my next move to be.

Ya Allah, I thank you for whatever plans you have made for me. Without failing me, I wouldn't have realize, I wouldn't have stopped, I would've still whine and complain and be blinded by all the blessings you've bestowed upon me. Alhamdulillah. You know what's best for me and for that, I trust you.

Wassalam,

M.

AT THE EDGE OF GIVING UP.

Papa sent me to work...

Said he's at the verge of telling ____ off.

😢😥