LONELY.

I'm not complaining of being lonely. Certainly, not. There are many other unfortunate kids without family and friends out there :( So I'm pretty much blessed with so many loved ones around me. Its just that, Dad's busy with driving passengers around to earn the food on our table everyday :((( Sofie has now drifted apart from the family. Well, emotionally. Linn's been giving empty promises and her laziness is just not helping much around the house. Shasha's mood been on and off too cause there's nothing much to do around the house. I'm just upset :'(( Sometimes I feel like crying, and I would stop and think, why would I wanna cry? Its not like I dont have anyone left.

Hmmmmmm :/ Its not about appreciating how much you have a family around you. Sometimes you just miss the old times much that you din realise how everything changed, and has become alien to you. Until one day I had nothing to do, and everything just came to a stop and make me realise how much, today is different from 10 years ago.

:((((

Honestly, being a kid is the easiest when you know lesser, feels contented with everything, doesnt know right from wrong and vice versa, and can easily be a happy kid when given a lollipop .. :'((

Lately, I've been feeling sucky-ish. I'm not even sure if there is such a word, but I'm not gonna find out. I feel like I can't make up my mind and decide what I want anymore. One moment I wanna get my license. Another second, I was regretting being enrolled. One moment I was eager to get married and have kids of my own. The next I was afraid of the thought of a baby. One moment I wanted to repent fully. Next moment, I am just not ready. One moment I was daydreaming about my future, what I would be, how I would become. The next moment I was all afraid. Incredibly afraid, of everything. Which I have no idea what "everything" am I referring to. 

You see, dear readers, not everyone gets what they want. You will have difficulties choosing between choices. But look on the bright side, its more frightening if you don't have any choices at all.  So I'm gonna take things slow, and take my time to think wisely for how I would want my future/life to turns out like. Even when I know I cannot control how it turns out :) Because we choose, but Allah decides :)))) Happy positive-thinking, dear readers :D