Which meant "The Night of Festive" in Malay for us Muslims. At this point of time, the takbir can be heard and most of us are reminded of our loved ones who left, how fortunate we are, and all our sins.
As for me, one thousand and one thoughts are running thru my mind. (Obviously not really one thousand and one, it's just a figure of speech.) First thing (or in this case, person) came to mind was my late grampa. I miss him so much. I wonder what he thinks of what I've become today... Will he be proud of me? Or will he be extremely mad (at typing the word mad I could almost burst into tears coz if he would really be mad, I know it's my family issue. How everyone's changed and how each and everyone of us turned out today.) ?
Other than the late, I'm disturbed by how my family have changed so much over the years. Of course, everyone have physical change and all. But I definitely wasn't referring physically but emotionally and mentally. (I mentioned family instead of being so direct and mention specific person because I don't like it when I reveal my family member's mistakes or weaknesses.) It's so heartbreaking to witness this change every single day.
I'm still holding on and believe that Allah will show me the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just afraid if one day I couldn't take it any more and just breakdown....................
That's all I'm afraid of all this while. May Allah protect my family & I and guide us to the right path. Amin.
(Salam Aidiladha to all my Muslim brothers & sisters!)
Xx,
Marlie.
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