GROWTH.

EACH TEAR.

My dearest Pang Kai Xin. (This is especially for you.)

I don't know how else can I comfort you without being able to be there for you and with you. I feel bad. I feel so bad for being at home knowing that you need your friends the most now. I hope Julia is able to make you feel better cause I know you need her the most. But know that no matter what, you have all these friends listening to you, lending you our shoulders, every time you need them. I am so sorry for not being able to rush down to school as much as I want to, to be there and listen to you. I am weak, and I had my medicines.

Just so you know that it pains my heart this morning knowing that you cried, babygirl </3 It really felt that I broke down after years of not feeling this way. It hurts to know that my friend is at her lowest and yet I can't do anything, can't even be there for her. I really hope you forgive me and be calm, partner. I know you're strong. Cause you really are. And know that this is not the end. Not the end of the world, not the end of EVERYTHING. Cry as much as you want, don't let anyone stop you. Just make sure that you feel better afterwards. Feel good. 

Cause ..

In each tear 

there's a lesson,

Makes you wiser than before, 

Makes you stronger than you know.

I LOVE YOU <3 *HUGS*

XOXO, Marlie.

NEWBORN.

This is Qisthy Eva :D Raihan Izzati's newborn babygirl :) Happened to come across her newborn album in Facebook or else I wouldn't even know she had popped! :/ Anyways, CONGRATULATIONS my dear, hope you lead a blissful and happy new motherhood life with your babygirl, Eva <3 :) 

SHAVE IT OFF.

25th April 2011 - ProTrim Causeway Point with Momma.

Crazy and wild decision to shave off my right side. But I just had to try something different before deciding to really chop of my long hair :) So there.

XOXO, M.

UNDER THE WEIGHT.

I finally see something (or rather, see lesser :D)! I'm beginning to think that I've lost weight even though friends and family been trying to convince me that I actually did. But the thing is .. I did not feel or see the change :( Even now when I see the change, it's only a little change! I know it's still something .. But I don't want people to get the idea that I'm dieting to lose some weight and be slimmer. I was actually under the doct's observation for quite some time few years back due to my health condition and I had to stick on a certain diet :( It's definitely not because I wanna be slimmer and look beautiful.

I definitely dont care about looking good. I love to make up and dress up. But its because I wanna feel good. Not because I wanna impress anyone! Sigh, wait why do I even bother explaining again? I shouldn't bother with what people wanna say or think -_- Marlie. Calm down. And be yourself again. I know ever since I came back from Wuhan I'm a totally different person :( Shit. I hate this.

DEPRESSED.

I feel like I can cry anytime. But it's nothing to be worried about. I'm just oversensitive :( And I hate it. Lucy said I will not forget them, when I told him no one knows because anyone can change overnight :( But thinking about them, thinking about Wuhan, everything there .. Makes me a person with depression now, I swear. Always feeling sad and missing Wuhan badly :'(

I am now avoiding MSN as trying not to chat with the Wuhan guai zi! :( I know I'm bad, but that's the only way to prevent myself from being depressed </3 I don't know if I'm being cruel to them, or being cruel to myself! Every time I see my MSN auto signed in, I will feel so sad that I had to close it :( Not wanting to see my Wuhan guai zi online. I just feel like I want to cry. I have no idea why is the trip end up putting a huge impact on me, on my life now. I want to go back. I'm dying to go back. It's not the people. It's not the food. And it's definitely not the school. It's somehow the bonds, the life, the easy and relaxed life there :'(

No matter how much I know I want to go back, I know I will forget about this plan in the future and think it was childish and was a decision at a moment of sadness :( I hate it. I hate it when I think like this. When I think of how I will see it in the future :( I MISS LUCY. I MISS LILY. I MISS WUHAN. I WANT TO GO BACK. IF ONLY THEY KNEW HOW MUCH I MISS BEING WITH THEIR PRESENCE. I MISS THE 5 WEEKS I SPENT THERE.

:'(

WEE WEE & LOT 1.