ANYONE ELSE?

It's currently 1600hrs Singapore time. Underneath a block at a void deck nearby my house. Accompanied by the thunder, lightning and it's raining cats & dogs. Current mood: Upset, hurt, emotional.

Just that this time, I'm no longer sure if it's PMS (again). I can't keep using PMS as an excuse for my emotional and/or scary moodswings and my menses din even give signs of coming. Maybe I just don't want to accept the fact that I'm not an easy person to handle or be with. That I'm not a happy & fun individual. That I'm an extremely sensitive person.

(Even while typing this I'm thinking of what if I happened to see someone I know passed by? And what if they ask me what am I doing here? Think I would just burst out coz that's how much I needed someone here with me badly.)

What concerns me is... What makes me so emotional? Why am I so sensitive? Issit so bad? Is this getting from bad to worst? Maybe if I can figure out the answers by myself I'll be able to handle my moodswings and sensitivity better. Or perhaps if I ever have to think about sad thoughts, I'll most probably encourage myself to think positive.

I'm currently in need of a companion who can hear me out, be there when I need him/her and just be him/herself.

If only........................

Hurt, sad and lonely,
M.

SOUL SISTER.

(6th November 2012)

Had a very very long meet up with Hijjah (EJ) yesterday (after my very last paper for the semester! Don't even wanna talk about it.) ! And always a good one too! I never came across anyone like her. I'm speaking in terms of friends tho. (Hoho it just sounded like as if I'm describing a lover. Not that she's not a lover, she's loveable friendly funny and everything!)

We're always able to connect ourselves, able to understand and feel what both of us feel. Like we're born to be soul sisters, you know? It's always the same level of understanding, same level of thinking and stuff. Even tho a couple of our situations are not exactly alike, but it's amazing how Allah S.W.T let us feel one another by what we went thru. Masya'Allah :') Life is just plain beautiful.

What else could I ask for. (Even tho most of the times I've asked for certain things and blessings during my prayer, lol.)

Can't wait for the next meet up with her! Till next time. Hope we remember to snap a couple of shots of us so that I can post it in my next entry of our meet up ;) teehee.

Xoxo,
Marlie.

A VERY LONG TERM POST-MENSTRUAL-SYNDROME.

It's either I'm experiencing that or I'm just sucha cry-baby/emotional person. Been almost two weeks that I've to end my night with my mind full of emotional thoughts. To the extend that my eyes are hurting coz I'm trying not to cry, holding back & fighting unnecessary tears. Imagine that. Seems like an easy task eh, but the pain of holding back unnecessary tears is just...... Haaiss.

Both parties don't make the effort to understand each other. Then how? You can't expect me to be the middleman forever? I mean I'm not complaining. But sometimes I think I deserved to shout and/or scold them (when need to).

I've talked to both parties countless times and even try to get them to understand one another but to no avail. On the other hand, my papers aren't showing me any signs of making me a potential bachelor-degree-holder! Demoralizing or whatttt...... I can only pray and hope that my efforts for my assignments helps and paid off! Insya'Allah, Amin.

Gonna turn in now. My eyelids are getting heavier & heavier! Good night lovelies!

Xoxo,
Marlie.

(PS, ouhhh Happy 1 month old working at Cache Cache, M! Hehe)