My heart must be as black as charcoal. Why can I not stop myself from doing the things I've been telling myself to? I have the greatest intention to stop. To change. To be the better person, a better muslimah, a better daughter. Tests and trials comes in different forms, but why did I allow unreasonable customers (plus I was having a bad day, so it was extremely a bad combination) to get on my nerves?
I said I was a different person from who I was last year. But not yet whom I want to be.
Am I? Am I even trying some of the time? Most of the time? Ya Allah. My heart aches, every single time I do things (consciously) which I intended to stop to please you, my Lord.
I beg your forgiveness for I have sinned, and I have hurt/upset/disappoint so many people around me.
Ya Allah, do give me the courage too to forgive the people who have caused the great amount of hurt/harm to me as much as I want You to forgive me for all my sins! Allahumma Ameen!
M.
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